Dear Facebook Truth Game:
You have to be the crappiest social networking game known to man. You try to get me to re-add you under 20 different aliases just so that I can see how my friends answer stupid “yes or no” questions about me. If my friends want to know the answers to any of those questions, they can just ask me. The answers are normally pretty awesome.
For example: I have, in fact, let the yellow mellow a time or three. If you have ever had a newborn baby, there’s no doubt that you have silently celebrated and maybe even pantomimed an end zone dance when the little satan spawn angel finally dozed off. If you’ve ever had a bathroom within ear shot of the baby’s nursery, you undoubtedly know that a flushing toilet might as well be a jackhammer. Your favorite phrase when you had to pee was probably, “FML.”
See? Wasn’t that awesome? Not only is the answer to the question out in the open for everyone to know, it was delivered with that personal “Keri” touch that no one else can give it. Your stupid “Yes” and “No” buttons can’t touch that. I know there are also several opinion questions that I can’t actually answer for my friends, but you know what they say: “If I wanted your opinion, I’d take a crap.” I generally subscribe to that theory.
So, Facebook Truth Game, I’d like to cordially invite you to stop trashin’ up my social networking experience with all your different applications. You wouldn’t have to create new ones with different names if your original application didn’t suck so badly. Just take the hint and realize that people hide your posts no matter what name you’re using because you’re utterly annoying and trashy. If I want to have some trash-o-licious fun on Facebook (read: If I’m drinking heavily enough), I’ll unblock one of your other multitudes of sister applications and play. Until then, you can resist the urge to create new ones.
Sincerely,
Me