PSA: Whining vs. Complaining

If you’re reading this and actually halfway know me, you probably already know that I love your stupid face off (unless I’ve personally told you that I hate you, but that should come with some kind of award because I don’t do that very often). So don’t let what I’m about to say hurt your precious feelers. I’m not really that bitchy, I just complain a lot. There’s a difference, I swear.

With all that said and out of the way, I have a complaint.  It goes a little bit like this:

I hate it when you, the general public, whine about stupid things. So, stop it! Just stop it now! The types of people who whine about trivial things are also the people who are overly emotional about other things too. Every single day of their lives sounds like it’s been ripped straight out of one of those sappy Lifetime movies. If something bad happens, it’s tragic and they can’t stop bawling their eyes out. Ten seconds later, though, those same people are “so blessed” for some other reason. If you suspect that you may be one of those people, do the world a favor and make up your mind.

Here’s the most annoying part. Add Facebook or Google+ into the equation.  The good news is most of the people on my friends lists are pretty good at complaining rather than whining. A good complaint can be pretty damn entertaining. Not to mention I love the pictures of your kiddos, cute things they said, funny observations about random stuff... heck, I even don’t mind hearing what you had for lunch. I’ll probably tell you what I had for dinner because I’m awesome like that. The bad news is, social networking is the ultimate tool for whine-bags to alert you to their changing emotional state every 15 min-1 hour. Seriously--just stop it.

I know some people are confused right now and are thinking, “Um golly gee, Keri! I sure as syrup don’t know what the difference between whining and complainin’ really is. Couldja tell me?”

Observe.

Complaining:

Braum’s really sucks at customer service. I think their interview process involves throwing a $100 bill on the floor and telling you it’s yours. If you’re too dang lazy to pick it up and pocket it, you’re hired.

Whining:

Do you know what it feels like to have your heart ripped out and stomped on? That’s what I felt like today when McDonald’s messed up my sweet little boy’s Happy Meal. He doesn’t eat mustard or ketchup, OR pickles. Now he’s going to have to starve until he gets home and it’s ALL my fault. Why me, God? WHY ME?!

Complaining:

I paid good money to see this stupid movie, and if the person behind me doesn’t get his feet off the back of my bleepity-bleepin’ seat, I’m gonna rip his legs off and beat him to death with them. ...and all I can say is he better not get any blood in my popcorn.

Whining:

I seriously can’t stop crying. Why can’t certain people just grow up? I’m so over it.

(Note: This is extra annoying because you’re not just whining, but being pointlessly vague as well. Also, I’d like to clonk you over the head with a blunt object for always being “over it” even though you’re obviously not, but hey, it’s your lie. Tell it how you want.)

Clear? I certainly hope so. Now go have yourself a hell of a day. I believe in you… or some other crappy motivational sentiment.