Three Hundred Dollar Baby

It’s officially been an entire month since the last time I played “EXTREME PARKING LOT CRAAAAASH AND SMAAAAAASH!” and I have to tell you that I’ve learned some pretty valuable lessons from the experience.

Lesson 1: Liability only insurance is actually a bad idea even if you drive relatively inexpensive cars that are paid-for. Even if you generally don’t make a habit of wrecking stuff, there’s always someone out there who is willing to wreck your stuff for you (and it will totally be in a parking lot so that the other insurance company can find some reason not to pay even if it isn't your fault).

Lesson 2: You’ll actually have to commute to places like school and Taco Bell in a vehicle like this sexy beast:

Yep. There she is. We bought her last year from some crazy-eyed fella’ who I’m relatively confident can see both of his ears at the same time. We only gave $300 and a couple cheeseburgers for her (Seriously, I’m not kidding about the cheeseburgers) and have since named her “$300 Baby.” I’d like to tell you how many miles she has on her, but I have no clue because the odometer has rolled over more than once.  

I bet you’re thinking to yourself, “Wow, that’s one sweet ride! I bet they put a killer sound system in that sexy speed machine.” Well, see for yourself:

Your eyes aren’t playing tricks on you. That is, in fact, a gaping hole, not an invisible radio. So, for those of you who have been lucky enough to catch a glimpse of me cruising by you and thought:

“Wow, look at Keri driving around like she’s something in that hawt ride and singing with her awesome radio! I’m so jealous!”

... you’re actually mistaken. You should have been thinking:

“Wow, look at Keri driving around in that hawt ride, singing to herself like a complete idiot! I’m totally jealous of her boobs though.”

For those of you who haven’t been lucky enough to feast your eyes on $300 Baby live and in person, you’ll just have to wait until I crash something else or end up driving her to the store for the fun of it. I’m happy to announce that my darling hubby has been kind enough to purchase me one of those new fandangled vehicles that starts without having to fiddle with the manual choke thingy and has all sorts of fancy features like a radio and a warranty.